Morning entry on Wednesday, January 7, 2026
Christ is born! Glorify Him!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all that He hath done for thee.
What happened, my soul? It wasn’t the first temptation of the day. It wasn’t even a matter I should be calling a temptation. Yes, it was indeed a correction, but so? And it was a gentle one. Your Abbess was simply letting you know what you didn’t already know — that’s all! Even if she was actually scolding you, again I say, “so”?
O my soul, have you forgotten? Yes, you remembered that any correction (however, from whomever) is the love of God Himself and should be welcomed with outstretched arms. Yes, you knew what was being said in your head was evil. Yes, you knew what was going from zero to sixty in your heart was evil. Yes, you tried, really tried, to do battle with this clear, known evil — a movement within, seeking to ruin Christmas.
You were no longer able to focus on the Liturgy as you desired, so with your prayer rope in hand, you went from the low ready position to muzzle up, selector from safe to semi, and fire! Noetic Jesus prayer after Jesus prayer — firing round after round with each bead of your rope. You were barely managing suppressive fire, let alone hitting any enemy target. Why? That’s right! It was confusing at the time why this was affecting you at all. It became crystal clear, later, that you forgot in that moment what you now know to be a basic fundamental — as fundamental as breathing, trigger squeeze, sight picture, etc., when firing a weapon.
O my soul, you forgot your inheritance — not the Kingdom; that’s only your inheritance in that day, if the Lover of Mankind has mercy on a wretch like you — no, I mean your only actual entitlement as of now — Hades! At this point, the worst part — where the Devil, his angels, the Antichrist, and the Beast will be dwelling eternally — that’s how wretched you are. You forgot all of this, and therefore you forgot that the very fact that you’re still alive, able to repent, no matter what may happen along the way, is mercy. If your inheritance is what I just said, then it doesn’t matter what the Abbess or anyone else does, nor what happens — it is humanly incalculable how much better you’re getting than what you actually deserve. When you remember this fact while focusing on Christ through prayer, your shots hit their target, every time. You know this from plenty of actual experience, but you forgot for a bit yesterday, and the enemy combatants made you their plaything.
Not only were you still stuck after Liturgy was over, but during Communion (of all times), you gave into an even worse temptation; you attempted to correct [another sister]. It wasn’t the first time she did that, and likely wouldn’t be the last. So? The other times, you let it be — moved on with your life. Why? An attempt to aggressively master the fundamentals. This time, you were only aggressively thinking about yourself, and even though you knew before you did it that you shouldn’t say a word to her, you did it anyway. You thought it would make you feel better. Did it? No. You didn’t know a moment’s peace after that, which was exactly what you deserved, for knowing what the good was, but choosing to not do it. This is evil, my soul, and this is why your inheritance is what it is.
It doesn’t have to be like this, my soul. Right now, God has given everything you need to fight where you are spiritually. Actually remembering and using those few fundamentals when you need them, succeed or fail, will show God that you truly desire His mercy on that day. But if you keep this up — forgetting, I mean — then you will just take your abode in the lake of fire. Blessed be the name of the Lord! This end would be just.
O my soul, aggressively master the fundamentals as you know them.
Save yourself!
